Ep 46: LOVE IN AMERICA: Celebrating a 19 Year Anniversary with a Glass of Wine and Tips on How to Keep a Marriage Alive

Ever wanted to know the key to a long-lasting relationship? A couple who has been married for 19 years shares their love story and how they are keeping it alive. In this episode, Martin and Heidi Hernandez, the original guests of Sarina Fazan’s “Love in America” podcast, bring a glass of their favorite wine, setting the mood for a conversation about relationships and its challenges.

Martin and Heidi were 25 years old and at the beginning stages of their careers when they first met. Martin had recently finished law school, and Heidi was just receiving her master's degree. Neither was focused on finding a relationship at that point in their lives.

However, their mindsets shifted almost instantly when their good friend Cindy introduced them - and from there on the rest was history.

“We went on the first date, and that was it for me. And, it was weird, it was really weird,” Heidi says.

Heidi tells Sarina that they were not looking for love at that time, but they knew there was something very special between them. 

“We had enough experience so that’s when it hit us, we recognized it, and we went for it,” Heidi says.

They recalled the first spark between them while at a comedy club with friends.

“Interestingly, she was on a date with somebody else, and I just didn’t care. I grabbed her in front of her date and onto the dance floor and started dancing with her in front of her date,” Martin recalls.   

For Heidi, Martin’s confidence was attractive, and their connection made it a night to remember.

“What is this sweaty Latin guy pulling me out on the dance floor,” Heidi jokes.

Martin adds, “I think it goes both ways, men like women that are confident. You don’t have to be the prettiest person in the room, but if you walk in with confidence that exudes in, and people notice that.”

Their first date was nothing short of sweet. Martin picked her up, brought her a rose, and took her to a fancy restaurant. Heidi was in awe of his efforts because she knew that he was paying his dues in law school.

“I do remember one thing you said because you ordered a bottle of wine, and I was going to order a glass, and he said, well let’s get a bottle. And I said, are you trying to get lucky? Well, then let’s order two, he said,” Heidi laughs.

There was instant chemistry between them too, and a sense of humor that they shared.

 “You ever go on a date and you’re just on, I was particularly that night, just on, witty, fast with the response,” Martin says.

They even clicked on politics, joking in the future that they would name their child after Ronald Reagan’s supply-side economics. A joke which would become true. 

Heidi looks to Martin and comments, “You said when we get married our fist born should be named Regan.”

Martin and Heidi now have a teenage daughter named Reagan.

In another instance of destiny on that first date, the couple also went to a drive-thru marriage location and took a picture beside it. Little did they know they would eventually tie the knot!

“Everything just was clicked, it was like all those things that I wanted in somebody, that I wasn't getting in other relationships, where I was only getting half. I was just like if this continues, he could be the love of my life,” Heidi says. 

But their love story faced obstacles, too. They had differing ideas on where they wanted to spend the rest of their lives. Heidi wanted to stay in the city she was born and raised in, Fort Lauderdale, and Martin wanted to move to Tampa.

“Did I love him, I wanted to marry him, yes, but I wasn't going to give up everything about myself for him. There had to be a compromise, and the compromise was you need to propose at some point if you want me to move to Tampa,” Heidi explains.

They decided to tie the knot rather quickly.

“Our first date was January 7th, 2001. I proposed May 1st, 2001,” Martin says.

The couple eventually moved to Tampa, and Heidi got the wedding of her dreams.

“It was beautiful. I wouldn’t have changed anything,” Heidi says. 

Although they were now married, kids were not in the picture just yet. They were focused on living their lives together before completely settling down.

“You want to enjoy your career, you want to enjoy each other, get a little bit of money, travel because when you have kids it is a whole new world,” Heidi describes.

Amazed by their long-lasting marriage, Sarina asks the couple how they keep the attraction and the marriage going after almost two decades. 

“I recommend dating your spouse,” Martin advises.

He continues, “You know she was my  girlfriend before she was my wife.”

Keeping the marriage alive by having fun and setting aside days where they go on dates, even if it in their backyard, is what they believe is the key to their success.

“She’s my best friend and that’s the truth. She knows me better than I know myself, and I know her better than she knows herself,” Martin says.

Heidi points out that in no way are they the perfect couple. “There is no such thing as a perfect relationship a perfect marriage,” she states.

Just like anything in life that is worthwhile, challenges inevitably come about.

“I think a lot of it sometimes is just communication, kind of understanding where the person comes from,” Martin says.

They advise couples that they should not give up too easily, because the grass is not always greener on the other side.

“We were 25 when we first met. We were just starting off, we had no money and so we appreciate all the things we have,” Heidi says.

They also advise those who are currently in the dating world that it’s important to be yourself.

“For people who are dating right now, be real from the very beginning. Set the tone that you’re real, and expect that person to be real back,” Martin says.

“You need to know yourself first, know what you want, do what you want, be yourself, and then hopefully you’ll be just lucky enough to find someone that compliments you; the one you want to be in the fox hole with,” Heidi concludes.

Having just recently celebrated their 19th anniversary in June 2020, they both hope to renew their vows when their 20th anniversary comes around. 

“If he's lucky, I’ll say yes again for 20,” Heidi says.

Check out Martin Hernandez’s Injury Law Practice: www.InjuryLawyersOfTampa.com

For more discussions like this one, make sure to subscribe to the podcast “On The Record With Sarina Fazan."  

Sarina Fazan’s wardrobe provided by Triage Consignment Boutique (www.Facebook.com/triageconsignment).  

Sarina Fazan’s dry cleaning and laundry provided by ZIPS Dry Cleaners (www.321zips.com/tampa).

Marc Marino, a financial advisor with Edward Jones, sponsors the “Let’s Spread Kindness” initiative and the “On The Record With Sarina Fazan” podcast. To learn more about Marc Marino, visit his website at www.EdwardJones.com/financial-advisor/index.html?CIRN=J8Xt82uMZ5PTkAAfJx0rPPELPdflNeOixbnYxMnYXdXnKX7BL7zz5t8tIJl5Do72.

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