Ep15: Surviving ABC's The Bachelorette and What Life is Like Post-Show
Episode Summary:
After being on season four of The Bachelor, Mary Delgado was the first contestant to be invited back for another season, ending in her engagement! Join Mary and her friend Lindsay Stewart, owner of South Tampa’s Ava, as we talk about what really happens in Bachelor Nation – and how it’s changed over the years.
Raw Transcript:
Speaker 1
0:00
I'm Sarina Fazan. Taking a risk, making a difference, and changing the course of your life. Remarkable stories from people defying the odds. You're listening to Trailblazer. Hi everyone! I'm Sarina Fazan and welcome to Trailblazer. I am so excited to be here and for you guys to meet my guests. They're two of my most favorite women on the planet. We have Mary Delgado from the Bachelor, former Bachelorette, Bachelor Nation. Well, not Bachelorette, I should say we're gonna get into that. And the woman that honestly is helping me live longer because she makes me laugh so hard, Lindsay Stewart, the owner of several South Tampa restaurants. In fact, this podcast is being brought to you by one of her restaurants, Ava. Hey y'all. Hi, Linds. Hey, this so fun, eating lunch and chatting. Oh my gosh, it's so fun. And now drinking cappuccinos. Yum. So I wanted Lindsay to be a part of this podcast too, Mary, with us because I did a whole podcast on Lindsey. So you have to listen to it. Yes, because her story is amazing. But, alright, so let's start with you though, Mar. I don't call you Mary I call you Mar all the time. So Mar, so you were honestly at one of the beginning, you know season four and season six. Yes. And you also, folks may not know this, you are the only woman that actually turned down being the Bachelorette. Okay, were you nuts to do that? No. You made the right decision. I wasn’t the only one. We're going to get into it.
Speaker 2
1:41
That seems like every girl on the bachelor's goal now, that's like their ulterior motive now, right? To be the Bachelorette? That's what they all pretty tell each other? Pretty much. That’s how they try to bust themselves with the Bachelor like, she just wants to be the Bachelorette, right? She's in it for the wrong reasons.
Speaker 3
1:58
You can pick those out right? Oh yeah. You apparently like the villains, missy.
Speaker 1
2:05
Oh my god. Yeah, we have got to talk about that. But just so people have a little bit of a background on you, Mary, tell us and, we are broadcasting to you from Tampa, Florida, tell us your story a little bit. I love your story. I've heard your story many times but for people who don't know you.
Speaker 3
2:23
So my story from when I was a baby?
Speaker 1
2:25
No. Oh yeah. Well, her story when she was her story when she was a baby, honestly ,is amazing. So her family is are from Cuba. Her family is from Cuba. And Mary is a realtor, a great realtor. She has her own realty company and she's a broker, bought her parents her their first home. When I was, just so you guys know, I was working at a local television station and the news director at the time said, alright, you need to watch this show on ABC because it's really popular. And I remember standing in his office, saying, are you crazy? I'm a serious journalist! What are you talking about? And he's like, I want you to get to know this girl, which is you. And then lo and behold, we met and then I just fell in love with you. And I fell in love with you. Oh, yes. And Lindsay, of course, and I love you, too. Thank you. Oh my god. Our table is full of love. So Mary and I started doing these stories and started to learn so much more about her. You were also a Buccaneer cheerleader. Yes, I really want her to teach us a routine, by the way. Which I will. Okay, thank you. And I’m not as limber anymore. Well, she'll, you know, we'll work on that. Well we're going to do a YouTube video on that. So stay tuned for that. And the longest serving captain of the Buccaneer cheerleaders.
3:45
Well, way back
3:46
Speaker 1
When way back when there's okay. So during so during this man. Yeah. Okay, so, at the time, so at the time you went on the show. You were definitely looking for love. Yes, yes. And you were on the you were one of the last three.
Speaker 3
4:06
So yeah, so on the first one, which was Bob Guiney’s season four with him. That was so long ago. What are they on season 26 or something? Oh my God. Anyway, that was season four. I didn't know what the what the show was all about. And they were having a casting call over an international mall. And, you know, long story short, you know, I got to put on the camera and they cast me and America fell in love with you too, because you also made it very known. But I want you to set the record straight at the time. You made it very known that you did want to get married. Yes. You did want to have kids? Yeah. And you didn't want to just you know, okay, I've dated people. I'm serious about love. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I definitely went on there. I wanted, you know, to meet someone and got to know Bob and they don't show 100% of the person. You know, you just get a snippet of who they they are and he was just really funny and charming, and I wanted to falling in love with him.
Speaker 1
5:04
And then they actually brought you back, which they had never done before at that time. So it was a really big surprise on Byron’s season. Correct. And you were the one that got engaged.
Speaker 3
5:17
So the funny thing is about the second time I went on there, I didn't go because I wanted to meet someone. Because I just wanted a free vacation. So,yeah, I wound up going and as I got to know him more and more, you know, I believe everything happens for a reason and, and at that time, you know, I got to know who he was on the show. And I'm falling in love with him with the person that he was on the show.
Speaker 1
5:46
And you dated for a long time you did for five years, five years. Yeah, we were together for five years, we wound up obviously getting engaged on the show. And that was the final one. And we were together for five years. And then you broke But you're married to the most wonderful, amazing man now and you guys have names. Yes. And you guys have been together for what? 10 years married for four years. And we'll be married for four. Yeah. Which is awesome, which is awesome. So there's lots to talk about. And here's Lindsey. Now Linds. Hi, it was a heartbreaker that Mary went through, but we can also talk about the show. So but the hard breakup with you and Byron at the time. You were very, I mean, it was really hard. Yeah. And very public.
Speaker 3
6:30
Yes. And that's the that's the hardest thing is, you know, think about whatever your hardest breakup was, you know, in your life, and that being out there for everybody to know all the details. That's that's it makes it even harder.
Speaker 2
6:46
Yes. And people write horrible things and they say things that are not true and make you feel worse,
Speaker 3
6:52
And they assume they assume a lot based on what the media puts out there and the media puts out, you know, to sensationalize whatever yeah.
Speaker 1
7:00
Well, you know, and I think, because there are many questions I could ask you about, because you've been very open about going through depression during that time. But since Lindsay is here to why don't we start talking to you about what really what really happens on that show now, I actually flew out to LA with you. And but a lot of things, a lot of things have changed. And I know Lindsey has a lot of questions on like, the drama and I will know all the good stuff like…
Speaker 2
7:27
Yes, I want to know, like, do they tell a girl to be like that, like the ones that are, you know, drunk or you know, oh, you do this or you say this, and now you come in and be really they like all the drama, right? I mean, that's what makes the show.
Speaker 3
7:43
And that's why if you ask for water, they'll give you vodka. Like, are you serious? No. Are you serious? Really? They want you to drink more because obviously the more you drink, you lose your your inhibitions, right? So, you know, they they will suggest like, you know, why don't you go and like he sleeps. Right now but just kind of knock on his door and just say hey, I want to I want to talk or something like that You are kidding, but it ultimately is up to that girl to to use her head and be like, you know what he's he's like resting or he's whatever maybe I shouldn't go over there or you know, he's talking to that girl right now let me not interrupt so it's ultimately up to that person decide should I do this or should I not?
Speaker 1
8:23
But let's face it guys, when there is alcohol involved in lots of it, I mean, the lines can be very blurred.
Speaker 2
8:32
Right so they call it dialing under the influence for a reason. They say put your phone away past midnight, or nothing good goes on past midnight. Yeah. I've definitely dialed under the influence. Yeah, now it's technically under the influence or going to knock on the Bachelor’s door under the influence. Right. So what do you think like made him pick you over the other girls. Like what did you do that stood out like what do you think? Did you play hard to get where you more? Did you? Did you act? Did you lay all the cards out there? Like they always want to be the first one to say, I'm falling in love with you. And that means I feel like I'm falling in love with you. Which is like not saying I love you yet. But they always say that so do do you think like he picked you because you were more mysterious? Like you didn't lay all those cards out right away and you were more of a mystery like he wanted to get to know you more past the show.
Speaker 3
9:34
No, I think it's because I was just being myself. Yeah, I think that when you try to be someone that you're not you do a disservice to yourself because then that person is falling in love with a fake you right? Yeah. So I think that it was just me being me and I guess that's what he was looking for. Which was me.
Speaker 1
9:54
Do you believe Do you believe in the process though? Do you do you because a lot of people you know will say how in the world because you fall in love with someone in such a short span of time because tell us. Weeks, right? I think it's sick. It's a whole shows or is it two months?
Speaker 3
10:06
No, no, no. So when I was on there, it was actually nine weeks. Wow, being there nine weeks of being there. And, you know, it's it's, you know, one hour show so you when you go on dates and you're spending time with this person, you're with them for the entire day. So they take that entire day of spending with that person and they turn it into, you know, like a five minute you know, I'm going to show this on television kind of thing. So you just think about yourself like in reality and real life meeting someone like what's really popular right now people meeting is online. online dating is huge. I mean, most people you ask now well, how did you meet we met online and you know, so I believe that you can you don't fall in love like, you know, I don't believe in love at first sight either as lust at first sight. Falling in love is an actual process. You know, you fall in love every day with the person so Initially you have to have an attraction and then you know going missing that person thinking about that person all that stuff which you know on The Bachelor they want you to think about the Bachelor. You know they don't let you talk to your family or friends or know that they just want your head you know thinking about the Bachelor 24 so they don't give you your cell phone or anything.
11:18
Oh, girl, they take that stuff away.
11:20
We know your cell phone. One track mind. Yeah, yes, it is. They do they take everything away.
11:26
And let's be honest, they picked some really hot bachelors. So what else could you be thinking about with this oil?
11:35
I mean, like, I put you in these waterfalls with the water coming down.
11:38
It's so realistic, isn't it?
11:41
I know. I mean, that's not real life, but who couldn't fall in love with that?
Speaker 1
11:44
I know. I mean, so I mean, it's so glamorous. So and it is not reality. That's the thing. I mean, like, okay, on the show, they can provide all these, you know, great, you're on. You're flying around. So exactly not real life. You're drinking wine. You're having a picnic. The horse runs up and yeah, how can you not fall in love with? I mean, of course you're gonna fall in love.
Speaker 3
12:09
I want to make it so easy. Lindsay. You're married, right? So I'm married. How When did you know? How long did it take you to fall in love? Did you know when you first met him? Like just get a feeling?
Speaker 2
12:22
No, not at all. I met him actually. Our story is crazy. We met, I had a boyfriend. But I didn't date Michael until like after that relationship ended ended. So when I met Michael I, we were both in two totally different places. And you know, it took a while for it to come to fruition. We were both in. You know, when we both said we're gonna give it one. Good try, then it worked. But, um…
12:49
You're gonna have to listen to her podcast. Yeah. She talks all about crazy people like, Oh, you know you don't meet a guy in a bar.
13:00
I did, you need to listen to that.
Speaker 2
13:03
But now named after our daughter we're sitting in right now this is the exact location of where I met Michael. We used to be Whiskey Park.
13:10
Right. And so in all of that, again is on another podcast because this podcast we're talking about you. We’re talking about the show. So Bachelor. Oh, quit.
13:20
I need to wake it. Yes. I gotta make it about me. Yes.
13:22
Right. Yes. Yeah. I know. That's very hard for you to do. But we're asking you questions today. Sorry.
Speaker 2
13:30
Let me ask you. Oh, I wanted to ask another thing. Do they do they buy your clothes for you and all those designer dresses.
Speaker 3
13:38
No need to have your own clothes. Buy your own clothes. Yeah. And you know, a lot of the girls that that go they wound up losing their jobs or, you know, they buy all these clothes and they overspend. So no, you buy your own stuff. So the The only time that they'll give you clothes is if you're the final three I believe. Then they'll give you like a dress or if you happen to go on a date. You know, that's like a, I don't know.
Speaker 1
13:58
Like one of those like one of those special dates like one on one like there's been dates right when they take you shopping and they said those, those type of I mean, you've gotten some great Gucci shoes girl, right? Yeah.
14:13
Oh, yeah, you get the shopping date. That's the date one. Yeah.
Speaker 1
14:17
Yeah. I feel really bad that I that I told you not to ask your questions right now, but there's so many questions we need to ask you that we only have 30. But I feel that you know, like, I'm, I'm one of those that I don't like chastising. Right. Is that is that the right word? Or? Yes, that is right. Okay. So he's speaking speaking of that, when you said and I think it is. So many of these girls, so many of these girls do leave their job. You know, as you said, it's nine weeks right? So they leave their jobs or you know, if they have a very understanding employer, you know, come back but wow, but you have to pack for all those nine weeks even though you could be sent home the first day.
Speaker 3
15:01
That's right. That's right. Some of those girls you feel bad you know, that go home the very first day, they've got all these clothes and, you know, they've wound up like I said, losing their job because they're going away and then they just go home on the first day. So, we're.
Speaker 1
15:16
Especially, you know, when we watch the show, when Lindsey has watched the show, the first night when you're sent home, and then sometimes there's all these dramatic tears, and we're just like, Okay, seriously, you know, is that real or like, or is it just like the whole pressure of like, well, what are the tears for the tears? Because rejection? Yes, absolutely. It's rejection, embarrassment.
Speaker 3
15:41
Uh, yeah, it's, it's a plethora of, you know, just different things. Like what you were saying is the rejection is the embarrassment. It's the, you know, what's wrong with me? Like, why didn't he you know, all of those things. I think more than anything is probably the rejection on national TV for someone to see like, my god, like I just got broken up with on TV not really broken up with just rejected, rejected, rejected. You know rejection is, I always, say though I'd rather go out in a clump of girls like that then at the end like attitude really really because well I wouldn't want to make it to the way end and think I'm coming out here proposed and then then he doesn't go on one knee I know and then I then I really probably did fall in love and then I get rejected I'd rather get rejected the beginning of the show, right no you're right like honestly to save to safeguard your heart remember? Yes to protect your heart. Yeah, you know, I mean that would be Oh gosh, so tough.
Speaker 1
16:38
And what about I know the fantasy Suites have changed so much. Boy, do you tell us now what really goes on in the fantasy suites whatever you want to do that there's a lot more pressure now though. I mean, because I think I don't you guys think since your season. To me, it appears that the women's And are more and more open about intimacy about I mean, some people are even prior even before getting into the fantasy suite.
Speaker 3
17:09
Yeah, absolutely. I think I think when I was on the show was more like, you know, oh, you know, I the fantasy suite. Oh, I don't want to talk about the fantasy suite. Now. Yeah, absolutely. More the women are talking about what happened like, I can't remember who Oh, Hannah, Hannah, the bathroom. And the windmill thing and you're having sex with I don't know, two or three different guys. I don't know what happened there. But anyway, they're more open, you know, to talking about the fantasy suites now than they were before. But you know, the fantasy suite is basically whatever you want to happen. You can just go in there and just because you're adults, I mean, think about it, and you can just sit there and talk or you can, you know, see how you are, you know, you match up, you know, just whatever you want it to be. So, yeah, sow wine and act like you fell asleep.
18:05
prelude to how I'm gonna be
18:09
red wine
18:10
with red wine you make me feel so fun
18:17
I know but like what do you need? I guess you oh you said it like we're adults right you it's but what about the competent like do you feel that there's a lot of competition with the other girl that would gross me out. I'm sorry I just thinking that like he did it the night before with someone else though like I would have to probably wait. I don't know. I think that I would want to wait till after he proposed only because it would feel so much more special now. I don't know because like I said there have been some really
18:51
I don't tell my secrets but..
Speaker 1
18:55
Here's the, did I not tell you? Did I okay. Lindsey Stewart makes people live longer because she makes you laugh so hard. Yes. And from what I understand what is it like 20 seconds like longer for every real real belly?
19:10
Yes, yes. Yes, your your.
19:14
I told you guys I love these girls,
19:16
You are about to say something we were talking about the Fantasy suite.
19:24
after Lizzy said Oh, but there's quite a lot of good looking Bachelors.
Speaker 1
19:28
She’s also also another reason I can't let my 12 year old watch The Bachelor, because she asked me why they closed the doors and the cameras had stopped and what did the fantasy suite mean? I was like, Oh.
Speaker 2
19:42
Yeah, yeah, I was like, Ah, well, the fantasy suite means they're playing fantasy football and they don't want nobody knew the other answers of who what teams they packed. Do you That's a good one. Yeah, so the show Well, she watches the beginning when all the girls come out. She likes the 25 that come out and she likes it. dresses and how they act. Because now they come out in animal outfit, they breed a dog Fifi, you have to like Fifi, if you like me, and you know, it's so they make such obstacles in themselves. Now it's honestly really funny to watch first night, and then it fizzles off and then you know, by the drama star, she does like to watch it and she said, You know, I'm on this, you know, group chat with my class, you just got a phone and they watch The Bachelor. And I'm like, Well, that doesn't mean you have to watch The Bachelor. Right, you know, and but I, you know, I think it's innocent. I think it's, you know, a great show for her to learn how to act and not to act and dating situations. I mean, that might give her ideas since it is a reality show of Wow, she doesn't want to act in front of a guy and how maybe she does want to act in front of a guy and how
Speaker 3
20:46
to be classy. But you're talking about you know, acting a lot of the girls that do go on there, go with the premise that you know what, I'm going to act bad because then I'm going to get noticed and then if I can just then it's going to be my longer two minutes of fame. Do you really so that
Speaker 1
21:00
So honestly, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but yes, but do you think a lot of people especially now, go on the show because of fame, especially now? Absolutely, they do. They do a lot of
Speaker 3
21:12
a lot of things that are like so over the top that you're like, really that but it makes you think about that person, right? A lot of the girls go on there because they genuinely are trying to you know, look for some but then, you know, some of them go on there and then you find out that they have a boyfriend or they just want to promote their music career or their model or just, you know, different reason, like more so now than ever, because some, some girls, you know, they do come out of there and they, you know, wind up getting the commercial or something.
Speaker 1
21:40
Oh, you know, I just read an article Actually, I just read an article and it was about Instagram influencers. And they and they mentioned the show, they mentioned the Bachelor and the Bachelorette and they said that, you know, influencers are such a big deal. Now, a lot of people on that show who make it you know, a long way or who are full of draw, have immediate notoriety you know are they immediate followers immediate followers followers yes immediate followers so but that should of course that's not supposed to be the reason you go on the show but I think a lot of people do go on this show because of that.
Speaker 2
22:21
Yeah, one of my biggest like one of these girls, one of the girls I follow it's a fashion you know, Instagram blogger is Hannah g from the one that just was windmill, right? Yes.
22:35
Speaker 2
Yes. Talking about no, not her the other Hannah there was Hannah G and Hannah B or something the other day. She was like dumped in the hall and she was a beauty queen. She got pretty far no she was blond blue eyed really pretty. She wasn't she was like a She's like a swimsuit and like fashion model and stuff. But um, she's like, in Instagram implementation and you know, just this other girl. I was reading the other day Lauren, Connor Lauren something she just married Chris Lee and this big time country star and she was on she got picked last she was the last her in the bachelor picked her Ben. Ben, I think Ben picked her they broke up and now she just married a country music star so a lot of them go on to do all these different fun things like whether it be I mean because they're in the limelight they now they get on Dancing with the Stars afterwards they get on it's their ticket into other things no matter what like I mean they can find other
Speaker 3
23:32
niches yeah and weights in it. I'm famous Mr. Parrish doesn't happen you know to all of them there's very very few percentage. Yeah, that that does happen too. But you know, it's it's all in a lot of them do like I said, Go on there with that intention goal, but there
Speaker 1
23:49
are some still like you went on with the intention of falling in love. Yes. Do you feel like watching the show now there are still there are still people who genuinely believe in the process and Want to fall in love?
24:01
Yes, but not as much. Not many.
Speaker 1
24:04
Right? Right. And so, all right. So speaking speaking of that, if we can talk to you, because I think this could be you did you do see all that heartbreak and all those tears? And we know that you went through so much of that? What message Mary, would you give to not women that were on The Bachelor? necessarily, or, you know, but what message would you give to other young women out there? Because I mean, you are in such a wonderful relationship right now a very healthy one. I know you are a class act, and you're would never talk negatively about anybody. So I'm not going to ask you those questions. But again, you went through a very difficult breakup, it was very painful. So what advice would you give
Speaker 3
24:53
Just be true to yourself. And you know, don't don't follow what Somebody else's dream is or don't, don't let go of who you are, you know, be who you are. And you know, the person that you're with, loves who you are, then that's who you're supposed to be with. But if they try to change you or make make you follow who they are, then they really don't love you because they're trying to change you, because you actually left and moved away from Tampa, you know, to follow to follow his dream.
Speaker 3
25:30
And, I mean, he didn't force me but he, you know, suggested and I was like, Oh, yeah, and I you know, I wanted to really helped promote his career and just left mine behind left everything that I love my family, just just everything. But, you know, I would just say that, just be be who you are. Be true to yourself and follow your own dream. Just be an individual. You know, you don't need someone else to complete you at all. Why don't you go to any of the The big parties when they because I know they invite bachelor alum and Bachelorette alarms. Why? Because it's been so long on the Bachelor, they probably stopped asking me, they used to ask me to it, you know, to a lot of the different events. But now you know, they haven't in a while so it's just I set so long ago that well I mean relevance mail.
Speaker 1
26:26
I actually use so you're, you are so not irrelevant. So I was going to post a picture you do a Google search on you and you and James come up immediately. But you know, I was gonna ask you, I've met Chris Harrison as well. And he is awesome. So Chris Harrison truly is for for those bachelor fans out there he is. He is such a great guy. He's a great
26:46
He's like a great he's got a great personality be a fun person to work with. He is.
Speaker 3
26:54
And it's like, they don't really show who he is because they show him as like you No, this is the final rose and he's just so dry. But the reality is that he is at peace. So funny. He's such a good guy. He really is. And he doesn't just do the battle like he does. He's done. I think Miss America.
Speaker 1
27:13
Yeah, he does some other stuff, some others. And what about all the spin offs from the bachelor like bachelor in paradise? Oh, awesome drama there. We have no, we have to save that conversation for later because we need to wrap up this podcast and add, but before we were, before we wrap up, I want to talk about Mary just for just another moment. So Mary, you have some exciting news because I announced that before we shared with everybody before that you are not only a realtor, you're also a broker. You have your own business, but some big news happening with you.
Speaker 3
27:47
Yes, yes, we're starting in January. So I'm about to become the broker and partner in TMC residential real estate. It's a division of TMC, which is the marketing It's among the top 25 commercial real estate brokerages in the greater Tampa Bay area. So I'm super excited to be to partner up. And we're going to be focused on residential real estate and other residential opportunities. And we're going to be selectively considering adding an elite group of residential agents to join our team. So if you're out there, make sure that you reach out to me because we'd love to have you on our team. So, you know, TMC is, was established in like 1979. So they've been around for quite some time. So I'm super excited about that. That's in January. So if you're a realtor out there want to come join our team.
28:38
So exciting. And yes, yeah. You just gotta wait
28:44
us every day. Yeah. Our office Yeah,
28:47
girl.
Speaker 1
28:48
And Lindsey Stewart, thank you so much for having us here at Ava today. Oh my gosh, the lunch was absolutely delicious. And again, you're making us live longer because you make us laugh so hard,
28:58
But cappuccino helps.
Speaker 1
29:00
Yes Oh, we all did have been hi Yes, we're on caffeine hi no red wine today but perhaps another day we can have some red wines. Yeah. But ABA 717 the Lord just three of the restaurants, the stewards and I actually want them on a show together talking about married life because and making a successful marriage they're adorable. But thank you so much and it's just, finish each other's sentences. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1
29:27
Yeah. Thank you so much everyone for joining us on Trailblazer. If you are interested in any type of sponsorship opportunities, just reach out to me, you can reach out to me at SarinaFazan.tv. Also, you can follow me on multiple social media platforms, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. I also have a blog, Sarina Fazan Media. As always, thanks so much for listening and the support. You're listening to Trailblazer.