Ep 38: “The Life She Once Knew”: A Mother and Daughter’s Story of Survival and Hope

Queena is a survivor. Her mother Vanna Nguyen and her older sister Anna Donato join Sarina Fazan on this emotional podcast to share how Queena’s positive spirit is triumphing over tragedy. Vanna’s new book, The Life She Once Knew: The Incredible True Story of Queena, The Bloomingdale Library Attack Survivor, recounts Queena’s fight for survival – and how it mirrors Vanna’s own fight to live two decades earlier as a Vietnam refugee.

Two days after her 18th birthday on April 24, 2008, Queena was viciously attacked by a teenage boy and left for dead outside the Bloomingdale Library in Valrico, FL. Queena, who was a high school senior at the time with a future full of promise, suffered severe brain damage. She was put into a medical coma in an attempt to save brain function, but woke up unable to walk, see, or speak.

Anna says, “Once when we arrived at the hospital and found out the extent of her injuries, that’s where the journey began.”

Sarina was one of the first Tampa Bay reporters who covered Queena’s story in 2008. Coming from an Asian family herself, Sarina identifies with the family’s culture and how tight knit they are.

As a single mother, Vanna raised both of her girls to be responsible and rule-abiding. In fact, Queena was returning a book to the library on that ill-fated night, because she didn’t want it to be overdue.

“I think a lot of people who were impacted by the story closely always think about what if she didn’t have to do the report, what if she didn’t return the book, what if she went before after hours, but we’ve learned you can’t think about the ‘what ifs’ because we can’t change it at this point. And, it’s nobody’s fault but the attacker,” Anna explains.

Vanna says, “From 2008, we have so many supporters and followers.”

She continues, “Every day, we have a message sent to Queena’s website, or an email to me, that says ‘I want to give up my life but when I see Queena keep going, [then that does] not allow me to do that.’ You need to write a book to help the people. So, I start four years ago to write the book.”

After Queena’s attack, Vanna devoted herself to round-the-clock care of her now severely disabled daughter. Every night after she put Queena to bed, she dedicated the hours between midnight and 3 AM to writing their story.

Incredibly, Vanna wrote the entire book in the Notes app in her iPhone. English is her second language and she struggles with technology, so she enlisted the help of a ghost writer to ensure the book was ready for publication. The Life She Once Knew, which chronicles the family’s deeply spiritual and emotionally powerful journey, will be published in November 2020.

Anna says proudly, “I never thought that we’d be able to publish a book, but my mom did it.”

But Vanna is known for her perseverance. “When I came to this country, I was 18 years old. I put in my mind; I never give up. I need to finish, whatever. I need to finish it. I don’t care how hot or how cold. I just sit in my garage and write and write and write. The main thing in this book is talking about Queena’s story during her attack, and also how she is not going to give up and keeps fighting every day.”

As she was writing The Life She Once Knew, the ghost writer approached Vanna about adding more of her Vietnam War survival story to it, recognizing the fighting spirit shared by both mother and daughter.

In 1981, Vanna escaped from her war-torn country. She crossed the South China Ocean in a small boat, heading for international water and freedom. When the boat could go no further, Vanna was rescued at sea in what she says is a miracle – a tale that is included in the book. She faced death and fought hard to achieve a free life in America.

Anna explains, “I know this story is very hard for my mom, because, to be honest with you, I didn’t even hear the whole story until she started writing her book. There’s just so many things that happened in her life that she’s guarded for so long, especially from her children, because she wants to be tough and raise us without any hesitations. So, I found out a lot about my mom when she started writing this book. I found out about the journey.”

She adds, “This book, in a way, allowed my mom to have, I think, a little bit of therapy, to finally let it out. And it’s been really emotional, but I think that we’re closer because of it. Because there’s a little bit more transparency now. And I’m going to be a mother soon, so now I can relate a little bit about how difficult it was for her as a mother.”

Vanna laughingly comments, “So one day you will be like me! You will call your kids. You’ll say, where are you? What time you come home?”

In spite of all of the tragedy, Vanna also wants to make sure that her readers have an opportunity to laugh. Hope is a central theme of the family’s story.

This year, Queena turned 30, and a global pandemic could not stop the celebration. Even though the planned Disney cruise was cancelled, Queena remained in good spirits while the family celebrated with a small party instead.

Anna explains, “That’s just Queena. She’s always smiling. And the crazy thing is that it’s one of her best abilities and the ability she did not lose was the ability to stay positive, and to be joyful, and to smile.”

She says that many victims of traumatic brain injury (TBI) often lose the ability, cognitively and emotionally, to express. “It must be so difficult for those parents to take care of someone, a child, who can’t express joy or happiness or can’t smile. But we were so blessed that Queena’s injuries did not extend that far,” Anna states.

Queena’s optimism and spirt inspires her family every day. Anna says, “Honestly, it’s a joy to take care of her. It’s hard work, especially for my mom, but when she opens her eyes in the mornings and she smiles, you don’t care. And, I’m telling you she has done that every day for 12 years, smiling when she wakes up. I don’t know how she does that, especially going through what she did and having lost so much. But somehow she’s found the power to wake up every day and be thankful. And that’s what gets up though every day.”

While many medical professionals gave up hope over the years, the family never has. In fact, they believe, with ongoing therapy and community support, Queena will continue to make strides toward recovery.

But it’s still hard not to think about the life Queena would have had. Vanna has kept her childhood bedroom in their home intact, with all of her belongings and school supplies from 12 years ago. When Vanna gets discouraged, she goes to that upstairs room to reflect. She says, “I think about her picture before, but that does not make me give up. That encourages me. Have to keep going. Have to do all my best to bring Queena back. Even just a little bit. And, see, now it’s turned to a symbol of hope for international. Everybody. Every country.”

Vanna claims that she doesn’t forget who Queena once was, but it’s Queena today who inspires her. She  hopes their story will encourage others and motivate them to persevere as well.

Vanna adds, “Of course, I always pray for a miracle. But I have to work hard for it.”

“I dream about my sister talking. I do hope for that. I pray for that. And a part of me just thinks that there has to be something more. She just went through so much pain and suffering, and now she’s inspiring so many people. What if she was going to talk again one day? How incredible would that be? Just that message, you know, to the world. So that’s definitely my hope. I think when you stop hoping, that’s when you stop going to therapy. That’s when you start getting depressed. Sometimes all you have to do is just think about what could be possible and that will keep you going,” Anna says with emotion.

Sarina is honored to be included in the book for her reporting and advocacy has helped make huge changes in the community. When insurance to cover Queena’s care was denied, Sarina took action, involving lawmakers from as high as the Governor of Florida to U.S. Senators to get her healthcare extended. Due to all the media coverage, fundraisers continue to this day.

However, funding for Queena’s care is still one of the biggest obstacles that the family faces. They have formed a 501c3 nonprofit organization called Hope Heals the Brain, Inc. that raises awareness and funds for families who are caring for individuals suffering from TBI in the Central Florida region.

Vanna and Anna hope that the proceeds of The Life She Once Knew can help support medical expenses through the nonprofit and Queena’s Medical Trust Fund. On October 24th, Hope Heals the Brain, Inc. is sponsoring a “Book Reveal Fundraiser,” which you can learn more about at www.eventbrite.com/e/queenas-book-reveal-fundraiser-tickets-121476747221.

You can preorder a copy of The Life She Once Knew on Amazon now at www.amazon.com/Life-She-Once-Knew-Bloomingdale/dp/1620207273).

If you would like to make a direct donation to help Queena, please visit www.joinqueena.com/donate/.

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